Apparently
by Spectra16
Summary: XIII fiction! Xemnas decided that there should be more members! 12 men, one woman. Who will win her undying affection!
1. The Red Haired Spaz That Never Was

**Apparently (It's Not That Organized)**

An Organization XIII fan fiction

By Spectra16 (n00b in Kingdom Hearts fandom)

A/N: Hi everyone. You won't know me. The last time I wrote a KH fiction (which was back when KH 1 came out) was a long time ago. I'm more of an Artemis Fowl author. So, yeah. (feels shy) And the last time I read a KH fiction was back when I roamed the country side for humor script fics (which was also a very long time ago).

Summary: This story is just about the weird adventures of Organization XIII in the World That Never Was. This story will go through several plots about sitcom like things. Sitcoms aren't all bad, after all, so long as they are fresh and subtly edgy. Tad bit AU. Tad bit OOC. Minut OC.

Warnings: I'm weird. Not "sexual/weird-kinks" weird. No. My main influences are Monty Python's Flying Circus, Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, Mystery Science Theater 3000, Gaston Leroux, The Onion, Lemony Snicket, Eye magazine, Anderson Cooper, and an elaborate shade of music. And for future reference, I am not high when I write. I consider "getting high" cheating. Jimi Hendrix cheated. Lewis Carroll cheated. I'm not going to get high in order to make a name for myself.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts and all that implies.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter One: The Red Haired Spaz That Never Was

"And so the three little pigs went to live in the house with hot, luke warm, and cold porridge and they lived happily ever after with Snow White. The end," Luxord finished with one swift sentence and closed the book slowly without any sudden movements. Roxas was sleeping (drooling) on Luxord's shoulder, snoring softly. Lux grimaced and carefully grabbed a clump of Roxas' bushy hair to move his head so that he could leave without detection.

Lux climbed out of the bed, trying not to pop any of the already feeble spring. (Luxord/Roxas OTPers, go away) He wore a wincing face to turn off the lamp. Luckily, Roxas had a night light to illuminate the room for Lux to escape. He looked back at Roxas, who was still snoring, and stepped forward a few moments before a floor board squeaked. Lux stopped dead in his being. His head turned slowly to check Roxas.

Still asleep.

Lux breathed a silent sigh of relief. He tip toed away again, not hitting anymore squeaky boards that apparently "never were". He smiled a little as he stood safely in the doorway of Roxas' room. The crescent moon's face on the night light was happily in slumber, not unlike Roxas.

This was every night since Roxas had arrived and become part of the Organization. Luxord was agitated by Roxas' childish need at first, but not he started appreciating how calm it made HIM feel. Luxord was about to turn away when Axel ran down the hall banging pots and pans.

-.-.-.-.-.-

A few moments prior. . .

Axel sat stunned, his face lit by the glow of the screen. His PS2 controller had fallen out of his hands and was upside down on the ground. Axel sat there with his mouth hung open and a most shocked expression on his face. He sat there for about thirty minutes.

Saix walked by, showing off his cross scar on his nose. The corner of his eye caught Axel sitting on the floor with his mouth hung open. Saix quirked an eyebrow and kept walking.

Axel sat in silence. For a very long time. And a bug landed in his mouth and forced him to snap out of his shock. Axel stood up and starred at the screen again. It was memorizing. Something about beating a game was so satisfying. Axel just sat. And sat. And then it hit him.

_I beat Kingdom Hearts!_

He did a little dance at first. But then unsure questions popped into his mind.

_Wait. Sora went back into the other worlds with Goofy and Donald. . . What will happen to Kairi! Poor Kairi. What a babe. And Riku and the King are dead! Oh noes! How will life go on? Well, at least Ansem's dead. What a media whore. And that secret ending is really confusing. What is going on? People in cloaks? Keyblades? What does it all mean? I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT GAME!_

Axel used a portal to get to the Kitchen That Never Was. There he found some pots and pans and he ran down the hallways and banged them together to let everyone know his accomplishment. After running for about six hours, he'd covered every inch of the place and promptly fell asleep on the ground. Before he fell asleep, he smiled at the angry face and the chasing that had ensued with Luxord, and Saix called him a freak. Larxene had banished him from her quarters. It was definitely a night to remember.

-.-.-.-.-.-

A few moments prior. . .

Luxord closed Roxas' door and sprinted after Axel, who was considerably slower and stupider. Axel looked behind his shoulder to a storming Lux. He screamed like a girl and dropped the pots and conjured a portal to run into to get to the Bathroom That Never Was Used. No one would find him there. Luxord had no idea where Axel had gone, and didn't care. At breakfast tomorrow, he'd forget about their midnight quarrel and let his guard down. And then Luxord would strike.

For now, Lux went back to his own room to play Solitaire on his computer before retiring.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Axel was busily setting fire to the eggs that Saix wanted to eat. Xigbar was throwing plates everywhere, and some of the Organization caught them, but Roxas didn't. He promptly started to cry. Upon hearing his crying, Luxord appeared from a portal and smiled at everyone.

"Good morning, Order!" He chirped. Everyone said good morning back other than Xigbar, whom was always in a foul mood. Instead, he grunted and continued throwing things. Luxord crept closer to Axel, who had his back to Lux. Luxord stood behind him closely.

"You're a dead man, Axel," Luxord murmured. For a moment, Axel sat there, and Lux wondered if he had heard him. But then Axel quickly opened a portal and hurried through. The portal closed before Luxord could follow him in. Vexen rubbed his eyes.

"What kind of trouble is Axel causing now?" He asked tiredly. Luxord turned around gracefully and swallowed.

"The little bastard set my cloak on fire and was banging POTS and pans while I was trying to get Roxas to sleep last night!" Luxord hissed and sat down at the large table in the kitchen. Roxas whimpered.

"Axel's a big, ol' meanie. I so do NOT want to be his OTP," Roxas cried. Luxord patted him on the head.

"I know, I know."

The room went silent with tired apathy.

"Who's gonna make number one his breakfast then? You know Xehanort likes Axel to cook his eggs," Larxene said brushing her hair back. Luxord threw his hands up.

"Xiggybar will do it. Or maybe Zexion," Luxord looked over at Zexion whom was sitting at the table with his hands at his sides. Zexion shook his head wildly.

"Hell no! HELL. NO. Do you know how many germs are in the yoke of an egg! Millions! I wouldn't touch that egg with a dozen Ansem reports. NEVER. Never in a fuckin' million years. Never. I'd rather kiss Xigbar's unwashed ass that touch an egg. Nope. Not gonna do it. Not even for Pez. Never," Zexion kept rambling on about germs and things he would rather do. Luxord turned to Roxas, who looked down into his lap.

"I don't know how to cook an egg," Roxas muttered meekly. Luxord groaned and flipped the egg himself. Everyone sighed in relief.

All of a sudden, One-winged Angel played on a boom box as Xemnas entered the room. Everyone (including dumb little Roxas) rolled their eyes. Xemnas entered the room with his arms raised as if everyone were going to bow down at his feet and praise him. When he realized that they ignored him, he pressed stop on the music, and sat down.

"Where's my egg, bitches!" Xemnas barked. Luxord looked over his shoulder with a look of annoyance. Xemnas shut up. Roxas gasped.

"Xemnas said a bad word! He get the naughty chair now!" Roxas giggled. No one else followed suit. Luxord nodded.

"Yup. Xemnas gets the naughty chair. And then we all get to spank him," Luxord smiled evilly to himself. No one could see him doing this because he back was faced to them. Convenient. Zexion nibbled away meekly at his toast, afraid of the air he was breathing.

"Oh yes. Today we will be having a team meeting," Xemnas spoke quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. And upon hearing this, everyone groaned. Xemnas glared at Demyx, who was sitting across from him.

"It's about bringing in some interns. It'll take five minutes," Xemnas tried to convince them.

"Why don't we talk about it now then? There. You said it. We need interns. The end," Demyx tapped his fingers on the table in a fidgety way. And it was driving Larxene crazy. Xemna shook his head.

"We have to decide who those interns will be, dear," Xemnas picked up the Daily Kingdom Times Journal paper and started reading. Everyone sat in silence, wondering who'd they chose to be interns for Organization XIII.

"How about we have a contest where people pay money for raffle tickets. It could be fun!" Roxas smiled. Xigbar clutched his head.

"NO! SHUT UP ROXAS! You're as dumb as a Moogle! Without a head! Last time we did that, we had a million Marluxia fan girls try out and they infested our Castle That Never Was and trashed the fucking place! Look at Marluxia! He's never been the same since then!" Xigbar gestured towards Marluxia whom was busily making phone calls in the corner. He talked nervously and shivered visibly.

"And you've got the real time, right? I know. I just didn't think anyone would have it. Linux, you know man? We're so nameless. I tried hooking that server up to some HP shit and nothing happened, man. I'm saying man a lot, man! Gotta. . . Gotta. . . Get that real time. I. . .," Marluxia realized everyone was watching him. "I have to go. People are starring at me." Marluxia hung up and hoarded himself in the corner, gradually molding himself to the wall. Everyone turned away from him and thought about interns again. Luxord flipped his egg onto Xemnas' plate from where he was standing. Everyone seemed impressed.

"Wow Lux! That was really cool!" Xemnas said and started chowing noisily. Lux scratched the back of his head.

"I had to reverse time like seven times before I got it right," Lux said bashfully. Everyone quirked an eyebrow.

"You're time changing skills frighten me, Lux. I don't mean to give you any ideas, but . . . You could like . . . Molest me and I wouldn't even know it," Larxene clutched herself. Luxord grimaced.

"Luckily for you, I'm not a pervert like Axel."

"HEY!" Axel shouted and then slapped his mouth shut, forgetting that he was hiding. Luxord turned around in rage and chased Axel out of the room, followed by giant, sharp playing cards that flew into Axel.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: For the reference of the readers, here are the Order's names and descriptions. I really don't blame you if you don't know them all. They all have really weird names and some weren't even seen in the game.

I. Xemnas is the real "bad guy Ansem" who is also known as Xehanort. He's that jerk you have to kill in order to destroy Kingdom Hearts. He' crazy. And crazy means he's the head honcho for Organization XIII.

II. Xigbar has the eye patch. He's not cool at all. His hair is absolutely ridiculous. He could've easily been written off the KH 2 script, I think.

III. Xaldin is that wacky Samurai dude that loves his knives.

IV. Vexen. I don't think we ever meet him in KH 2. If we did, I was sleeping during that part. Nonetheless, he seems less likely to get drunk and strip. He reminds me of Qui Gon Jin from Episode I. But whatever.

V. Lexaeus has a dreadful name. I think we meet him in KH 2, but I don't think we ever fought him (or maybe he's just mentioned). He also seems boring, because his hair isn't on crack.

VI. Zexion has crazy cool blue hair. We never meet or fight him in KH 2. This is the only character that weren't not sure what his weapon is. Apparently his wrists have something to do with it.

VII. Saix was definitely the biggest pain in the ass. He's the one with the emo cross scar on the bridge of his nose. What a little poser. He reminds me of that other poser. What was his name? . . . Oh yeah. Kenshin. Face scars are so cliché and so not cool.

VIII. Axel probably has the biggest fan base. He's got cool Knuckles-like red hair and an attitude problem. And everyone thinks Axel/Roxas is OTP. I dunno. It seems kinda creepy. Roxas just looks too young. But it's fresh. For fear of sounding cliché, I like Axel.

IX. Demyx is a little mullet whore. And he plays a citar that conjures water people. I hate him! He's so squeaky!

X. Luxord looks the oldest besides maybe Xigbar. I'm guessing he plays the father figure in the Castle That Never Was. This should make for an interesting plot. He's the card guy.

XI. Marluxia was not in the game (only Chain of Memories) but has a big fan base anyways. Probably because he has purple hair. All these names are so painful to write. He has also been said to be the more homosexual one in the group, only because of his pinkish hair and flower power. Personally, I think Xigbar is, but whatever.

XII. Larxene is the Mary Sue of the Organization only because she's the only girl. We never encounter her in the game. Lucky her. (grumbles)

XIII. Roxas has to be the youngest. And the only reason why he made it in the Organization is because he's Sora's Nobody and can wield an key blade.


	2. The n00b Arrives

**Apparently (It's Not That Organized)**

An Organization XIII fan fiction

By Spectra16 (I am your Optimus Prime of Music!)

A/N: I'd like everyone to know I'm sorry if there's some words missing the letter S. My keyboard decided that S wasn't important, so it might not show up if I don't press hard enough and go back to check.

I'd also like everyone to know that I write a lot of Artemis Fowl fan fiction, and that I recommend Beautiful. Smart. Entropy. And A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover if you're into Artemis Fowl/Harry Potter fandom mixes. I'd also like everyone know I like everyone in the Organization (Order) all the same and I'm not a fan girl, but if I do show interest in one, it's usually Xemnas. My friend loves Luxord, so I'm making him the father figure.

Disclaimer: I don't own KH, but I'd love to.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Two: The New Noob Arrives

Xehanort was not a very nice man. He liked to punch people a lot, he took joys in zapping people with his taser, he thought hydrochloric acid in punch was amusing, and more importantly of all, he had no feelings. That was usual for all the Organization members (and Nobodies), but Xehanort couldn't even REMEMBER having feelings. He thought feelings were a sign of weakness, like all manic depressed super villains.

In any case, when he found a good applicant for the XIVth position, he literally dragged the prepubescent computer programmer who reflected no trait of the author or shared on physical characteristic. (Considering I'm not a pimply, little piss of a boy. Hell, I'm not even male.)

"Let me go! I don't even know who you are! RAPE!" The boy yelled, whom still lived with his mother. Xehanort could barely hear the boy's cries. He was too busy listening to the new Red Hot Chili Peppers song in his head. Xehanort had liked RHCP ever since they had their first single out in stores, which was about forty years ago, and no one remembers what that song was.

The members of the organization usually had some sort of special ability or power. Xehanort's was ripping off of Darth Vader. Marluxia controlled flowers. Luxord was special because he was good with playing cards. (He also provided most of the Organization's income by gambling and stripping.) Saix sold his angsty soul for money. Occasionally, Axel gave plasma. Anyways-I'm getting off topic-, Xehanort dropped the boy in the middle of the white doom where all of the members sat, with the exception of Zexion, whom was suffering the stomach flu.

Xehanort sat in his seat. Everyone looked down from their chairs at the boy.

"Who the hell is that?" Axel spat. Xehanort, who's getting rather pissed off that I'm calling him by the wrong name, started kicking.

"This is Xerxes. I'm sure you'll all find him perfect for XIV," Xemnas (he kicked my ass!) spoke with authority now. The boy shivered.

"Where am I?" He shrieked. Larxene quirked an eyebrow.

"Is he a Nobody?" She asked. Xemnas shook his head.

"No, but we'll take his Nobody in place of him," Xemnas tapped his fingers to Dani California. Larxene gave Xemnas her unimpressed look.

"Could we at least get someone that LOOKS hot? I'm tired of these tiny, skinny little men in the Organization!" Larxene sat back in her chair with her arm crossed. Axel looked scandalized.

"Uh! What about me? What am I, chopped liver?" Axel asked. Larxene rolled her eyes.

"Yeah baby! I'm not squarky!" Saix defended himself. Xemnas rolled his eyes now. Everyone broke out into an argument about how qualified they were to love Larxene, except for Xemnas and Roxas, whom looked at each other.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Xemnas yelled, trying to contain his short temper. Roxas started crying. And everyone continued to argue!

"I'm hott! I have a giant fan base!" Marluxia complained.

"I have red hair! What's not cool about that!" Axel slammed his fists on the chair.

"I've got a sweet eye patch!" Xigbar shouted.

"I'm emo!" Saix raised his hand eagerly.

"I'm sorry! I just don't like bony guys! If I ate you, I wouldn't be full! That's how I date men!" Larxene shouted over them. Everyone sulked. Xemnas was fiercely rubbing his forehead.

"Alright, well, Xerxes will be staying with us to understand what we're about. If he's qualified enough for this job, then we'll take his Nobody, which will look considerably cooler than he does now. Dismissed!" Xemnas disappeared. Everyone went back to arguing.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Xerxes had to find a way out. He searched the walls feverishly for a hidden door to get out of the Castle That Never Was. Honestly, he'd only been looking for about an hour. And if you're fine combing the Castle TNW, it would theoretically take you 816 hours and ten minutes and forty-two seconds.

In his search for escape, he found a cat (The cat's name was Bob Dole, whom was lost as a kitten by Marluxia, but it got lost and survived on rats and tiny Heartless for it's entire life), a ripped up Sephiroth fan poster, some fuzzy hand cuff (?), and an abandoned room full of Ryan Seacrest paraphernalia. Xerxes quirked an eyebrow as he closed the door to that room and stepped away.

As he continued walking, he could've sworn he heard some drunken singing. Ignoring that fact that it sounded drunken (which is dangerous to follow the voices of drunken singing) and overjoyed by the fact that he could hear someone _alive_, he ran to the source. He found the door to that room after about twenty minutes and threw it open. There on the floor was Saix with a bottle of rum in hand.

"ISH XEMNAS! Closeh the choor. Ur lettin a draghtffft inshere," Saix took a big swig and continued singing something about pirates and a stairway to heaven. Saix handed Xerxes a glass and tried pouring some of the rum, but ended up pouring the liquid onto his lip. Xerxes didn't ay anything, but pretended to drink out of the glass anyways.

"Xemnask, what you say you like me in seperably," Saix swayed around and one eye was opened wider than the other. Xerxes was suddenly starting to realize this was a bad idea.

"My name I Xerxes," He corrected Saix. Saix shook his face, and Xerxes kept his eyes fixed on the cross scar on his nose. One thing that Xerxes thought that was similar to the opinions of the author was that anyone with a cross scar anywhere was a bloody poser and a drama queen. That was important to the story at all, but I should be.

"Nosh ish snot. I rike yuuuu! Rear shurd bee MOREk thhhan frens," Saix put his arm around Xerxes. Saix put his hands through Xerxes short brown hair.

"Hey! Wherrd all urrr shexy hair grooow?" Saix looked scandalized. Xerxes put the cup down and ran out of the room. He pressed his back against the door, hoping to stop this crazy man in case he were to come after him. Xerxes listened closely, and after a few tense moments, he heard Saix singing again.

"NOOOOOOOObodies knowww teh trobubble I'f sheeen!" Saix sang obnoxiously. Upon hearing this, Xerxes ran.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Abandoning the excuse to make characters OOC by the use of alcohol, we move onto the hidden lives of Vexen and Lexaeus. Considering they have a fan base of about two (adding their fans together of course), Vexen and Lexaeus spent most of their time trying to come up with ways to be better known. Vexen had a chart written out about the members and their approval numbers. He had a stick to point at statistics.

"See here, Lex. Here," He pointed, "We have Marluxia's fan base." Lex scratched his head.

"Those are just a bunch of scribbles," He said obviously. Vex slapped his stick on the board to call Lex's attention.

"AT EASE! Now, Xehanort's fan base is fairly large, but we assume that it's just the Goth chicks who like bad guys and bondage. Not to mention, Xehanort a pretty hot guy-ANYWAYS, Axel's fan base are a bunch of Axel/Roxas shippers who lust for nothing but M-preg and blood. Now, over here are the lesser bases," Vexen pointed to the corner of the paper that was barely visible from where Lexaeus was sitting, which was just a few feet away.

"Zexion, albeit he is a bit anal retentive and peckish, he does have fan girls out there who usually abandon their battle with the Axel/Roxas shippers obsessees. Are you still listening!" Vex slapped his stick down in front of Lex's desk. Vex/Lex shippers squeal.

(Author shoos them away.)

"Yes. Sorta. We go over this ever day! I'm tired! I didn't sleep well last night! I was too busy cutting out pictures of Brad and Angelina's baby and putting them in a collage that when you look at it from afar, it looks like Darth Vader! Lemme alone! I wanna go back to bed!" Lexaeus put his head down. Vex smacked him with the stick on the back of the head.

(Author shoos away Lex/Vex shippers again.)

Lexaeus stood up and covered his head, running out of his own room. While running down the hall, he ran straight into Larxene (who also wasn't paying attention I suppose) and he landed right on her.

(Author shoos away Lex/Larx shippers.)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"DEMYX! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM!" Axel pounded on the door.

"SUCK IT AXEL!" Demyx shouted back, his voice muffled by the door. Axel pounded again, shaking the feeble wooden door that almost was preventing a war.

"LEMME IN NOW!" Axel shouted with a towel in hand. Demyx was silent for a moment. Axel pressed his ear against the door. "When did you get in there?" He asked more civily. Maybe he was almost done, Axel hoped stupidly.

"I'll be out in a fucking minute! SHUT UP!"

Two hours later. . . .

"I'LL KILL YOU, MULLET BAG!" Axel cried and pounded on the door still, laying on the ground.

"JUST GIMME A BLOODY MOMENT!" Demyx's smirk wasn't apparent through the door. Axel cried louded.

"Isn't there a bathroom in the Corridor We Never Go In Because It Never Was! Why don't you go there!" Demyx asked. Axel sniffled.

"There's goblins and children down there! LET ME IN!" He wailed. Demyx opened the door, and Axel's heart lifted. Demyx's mullet was perfectly groomed. Axel threw him away from the door way and slammed himself in. Demyx put his fingers through his hair. Larxene, who was also waiting outside, but fell asleep, and was now awake again with her towel in hand, looked at Demyx.

"No one wants to see a dirty, ungroomed mullet, now do they?" Demyx smiled like a Colgate model. Larxene rubbed her eyes.

"No one wants to see a mullet. PERIOD," She laughed. Demyx stormed off to listen to Yanni in his room.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Zexion sniffled sadly. Luxord was bent over on the floor, not facing towards Zexion. (Zexion/Luxord fans squeal.) Luxord scrubbed the floor fiercely (Lux/Zex fans go all crestfallen) with a sponge. Zexion blew his nose, choking on the smell.

"I'm sorry, Luxord. I really am!" Zexion started. Luxord chuckled uneasily.

"You could've at least not eaten spaghetti today. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to eat foods like that when you're sick?" Luxord looked back at him with a sympathetic smile. Zexion grimaced.

"Luxord, can I tell you something?" Zex said meekly. Luxord shook his head. (Lux/Zex fans sit up.)

"You are my mom," Zexion hoped Luxord wouldn't be mad. Instead, Luxord sat up on the floor, perched on his knees. He shook his head.

"I know."

"You know?"

"Yeah. I'm everybody's fucking mother! I make you food, I clean your messes, I read bedtime stories to a few of them, I drive you guys to your soccer games," Luxord stopped. "Oh wait. Maybe I don't do that."

Zexion laughed a little.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Muse's album Absolution is fantastic. I recommend Apocalypse Please, Stockholm Syndrome, Hysteria (best song ever), The Small Print, and Ruled By Secrecy.

And thanks for reviewing! You know, even none criticizing reviews help just so I know that someone's reading. All too often I take them for granted.


	3. Food Run

**Apparently (It's Not That Organized)**

An Organization XIII fan fiction

By Spectra16 (16 for XIII!)

A/N: Hello. Oh, so we're back again? Shocking. This has to be -what- the third chapter? Wow. Hello! Creedings! Tell me how you are.

Disclaimer: I don't own Order-err. . . Organization XIII. Yeah.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Three: Food Run

Everyone sat lazily in front of the TV That Never Was. Most of them were slouching, being sucked into the couch with their flies open. Roxas was sitting on the floor, only because he was the youngest and Xemnas said "seniority" was a rule in the Organization. Xemnas coughed.

"Can somebody go on a food run?" He asked lazily. Everyone put their thumb on their forehead (except for Xerxes) and called "red dot". Then they pointed at Xerxes. This all happened in a matter of milliseconds.

"Haha! The rookie gets to go on a food run! And he can't even portal yet!" Saix laughed fakely. Xerxes pouted.

"What do you mean?" He asked naively.

"You gotta get the food from the vending machine. Usually we'd send you to the kitchen, but that's four hours away on foot. The vending machine is only two. I'd like a 100 Grand bar, please," Vexen spoke to Xerxes as if he was better than him, which is like how every talked to him. Vexen was finally glad to have someone in the castle that had a smaller fan base than him.

"I'll have a head of lettuce! Don't wanna ruin my diet," Larxene commented.

"I wanna Milky Way!" Axel shouted louder than he should've.

"Bring me some Scooby Doo gummis!" Roxas called. Xerxes quirked an eyebrow.

"You expect me to wander in search of a vending machine for TWO HOURS!" He shouted. Everyone nodded simultaneously. Xerxes shrugged.

"Fine. I'll be back in a few hours," Xerxes grumbled. Xigbar checked his watch.

"Yay! Just in time for AC360!" Xigbar smiled and decided to go forward in time to quicken his wait. No one would now that though, unless they looked at Xigbar and how zombie-like he was when he was messing with time. And even then, no one really WANTED to look at Xigbar. He was by far the most ugly out of the XIII, now fourteen.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Xerxes was not just a stereotypical Linux nerd. No, he also took to dressing up in woman's clothing and talking to himself. He dug his hands in his tight jean pockets as he walked.

"I have to walk two hour to get to the vending machine! How lame! The hell kinda evil lair is this anyway?" Xerxes spoke aloud to himself. He shook his head and turned the corner. The hallway was lit with the light of the giant can of Pepsi on the machine. Xerxes smiled widely. Not only that, but a blonde girl was pushing quarters in.

"Hi! I'm Xerxes! What's your name?" Xerxes started but then realized that the girl turned around and was hissing at him. Xerxes stepped back and the girl ran off on all fours. Assuming she wouldn't come back, he stuffed the monies into the snack machine. He quirked an eyebrow when he saw that a head of lettuce was 75 cents.

-.-.-.-.-.-

While Xerxes was gone. . .

Luxord played solitaire with Xigbar. This was the mathematical equation for death, theoretically. Luxord was a master at ALL card games. And Xigbar believed in suicide or murder if he did not win something. So either Luxord had to purposely lose, or Xigbar had to kick some serious ass. Neither of them wanted to do that.

Marluxia pulled some chap stick from his coat pocket and spread it on his lips. He pressed them together and puckered. Larxene looked at him half-heartedly.

"Hey, Lexis, turn the channel," Xemnas grunted. Lexaeus looked at him.

"My name is Lexaeus," He stated.

"Yeah, whatever."

Regardless, Lex turned the channel to Animal Planet. There were baby pandas. Suddenly, Saix got all starry eyed and clutched himself in a death lock hug. He knew he had to resist the need to squeal. And pinch someone's cheeks. Marluxia, who was sitting next to him, leaned over to look at Saix's weird face. Saix was apparently exploding inside, but Mar assumed it was because fuzzy things made Saix angry or something. Marluxia tapped Lex.

"Turn the channel. Saix is about to piss himself with rage," Marluxia whispered. Lex nodded and turned to G4. Right as the fuzzy baby pandas disappeared, Saix let out the air from his lungs in a loud way. Everyone tried not to look. Saix wiped the sweat off of his forehead. That was a close one, he thought.

Axel perked up.

There was a program on about Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories on GBA. Axel zoomed invisibly to the TV and grinned like a crazed klepto in a china shop. He clutched the TV and his giant hair prevented everyone else from seeing.

"AXEL! Get your fat head out of the way! I can't see!" Larxene screamed. Axel sat down, but his hair still blocked everyone's vision.

"The next new installation of Kingdom Hearts! Play as Sora in the epic battle of your life! E for everyone!" The TV blared. Axel drooled.

"I HAVE TO HAVE IT!" He screamed and ran to Xemnas. "XEMMY! LET ME HAVE IT PLEASE!"

"Get off me, Andy!" Xemnas pushed him away.

"My name is Axel!"

"Whatever!"

Axel ran to Luxord.

"PLEASE BUY IT FOR ME!" Axel cried and put his face in Lux's lap. Luxord grimaced.

"GET OFF ME!"

"Please!"

"No!"

"PLEASE!"

"Hells no!"

"I'll give you my soul!" Axel begged. Luxord took that last part to face value. Axel cried.

"Can we just give it to him, Xemnas?" Luxord asked.

"Lucius, we spoil him so much! He deserves punishment! Not more gifts! Remember what we got him yesterday! We bought him a Commodore 64! That was not cheap! And he was behaving badly too!" Xemnas wondered why Luxord's face was a heap of angry.

"My name is Luxord. Not Lucius! This is not a damn KH/HP crossover!" Luxord shouted angrily, having his full of KH/HP shit.

"Oh whatever! All you guy have the same names! I can never remember them all! There's all these X's and shit! Why X? Why are there X's in ALL of our names! Where the programmers just lazy or something?" Xemnas raised his hands in the air. Everyone starred at him lazily. Xemnas shook his head and went back to watching G4.

Once every one was silent, Axel looked up at Luxord again with a silly ass smirk.

"So can I have it?"

"YES! SHUT UP ALREADY!"

Axel rubbed his hands together diabolically and smirked evilly. He resisted the urge to laugh out loud.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Xerxes threw open the door and passed out on the floor. Everyone groaned.

"Could somebody get that? I'm famished!" Xemnas complained. Larxene got up angrily and grabbed the food that Xerxes had brought up. She also just left him on the floor while everyone ate. Once in a while, you'd hear a large crunch of lettuce.

"I'm starting to think Xerxes isn't as qualified to be XIV," Xemnas said reluctantly. Everyone nodded. Xemnas sighed.

"He had a cool X name though. It's a shame," Xehanort sighed. Marluxia looked over at Xerxes.

". . . . . . . shouldn't we -like- help him up, or something?" Marluxia said quietly. No one replied. Marluxia shrugged and kept watching Anderson Cooper.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Xerxes woke up in his bed, in his home, in Traverse Town. He smiled as he woke up to a new day. He threw his legs over the bed and stretched.

"What a weird dream I had. All these crack induced guys in weird/goth cloaks. What a bunch of posers," Xerxes spoke aloud. His goldfish on his nightstand said nothing. The fish just blew a bubble for the Awakening of his master. Here are the fish's thoughts;

Good morning, master! What a fine day it is! I know you will be busy on your eMachine. Honestly, I could crap a better computer than that, but whatever. You go have fun! I'll just sit here and eat pebbles and spit them out again. I cleaned my scales especially well a few moments ago for your Awakening. Oh! Don't forget to feed me! Dammit! COME BACK HERE BITCH! Shit. Oh well. Yes, go feed yourself before feeding me, you media whore.

--Bleep. Mind wiped clean.--

. . . . What was I talking about? Was I talking? OH NOES! Where's master! He's not in his bed! He must have been stolen! WHO WILL FEED ME! I'm so hungry! Am I in danger! How will I survive if I have no food! CRIPE! Oh. There he is. He must've been out on his morning piss. I wish I had somewhere to piss, instead of swimming around in it for months before master remembers to change my water. Oh yes! He's feeding me! Yay! Food. (Author cuts out the chewing noises.) I love food! Thank you master! Thank you! Remind me to bow down before your glory!

--Bleep. Mind wiped clean.--

. . . . I'm hungry.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Xemnas downed another shot of Perky Juice™. He pushed his shot over to Zexion, with rubber gloves on, poured another glass for Xemmy. He downed it again and belched. Zexion ducked under the bar and gagged. Once he was done being repulsed by Xemnas, he shot up with a friendly smile on his face. Xemnas was turned away now. Zexion sighed in relief.

Vexen mosied up to the bar and ordered a Club Sandwich.

"Um . . . Vex, you do know that this is just an alcohol stand. You can order a friggin' sandwich in the fridge," Zexion replied. Vexen looked as if he already knew that.

"Gimme a bloody alcohol sandwich than! I'm starving!" Vexen pounded one fist demandingly on the table. Zexion rolled his eyes and walked away, not caring that he had costumers. He snapped his rubber gloves off and threw them at Axel's head. They perched on his pointed red hair, and Axel never noticed. Zexion shuddered and used a portal to get to his room.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Namine was usually a nice little girl. After all, she was the Nobody of the Mary Sue known as Kairi. She usually drew cute little drawings of Sora. But today, after having watched the Ring, she drew black circles of death in a possessed-like fashion.

"Must. Kill. Everyone!" She laughed murderously in her white room with padded walls. "Muhahaha. . . . MUAHAHAHAHA! MU HA HA HA HA HA!" She coughed and hacked a little.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Wow. Shet bag. This story is so dope. I don't like this chapter so much. But I think you'll like the next. It's about the Haunted Attic That Never Was! Yays! At least I think it will be about that. Err. . . Yeah. Anyways, thank you for reading! Cheers. Drop me a line sometime. I'm a very bored girl with lots of things I should be doing.


	4. The Attic That Never Was

**Apparently (It's Not That Organized)**

An Organization XIII fan fiction

By Spectra16 (Got plot?)

A/N: Welcome Organization Order fans! Luff abundant! This is no longer a one shot because I got plot! Who wants to see Xigbar' tattoo he got as a real person! (pulls his pants down)

Xigbar: (screams like a girl) (yanks pants up again)

A/N: For those of you who didn't see what it was-(Xig slaps Spectra's mouth shut)

Xigbar: How the HELL did you find out about that!

A/N: Mffflmmshmmmfle. Mmemmmurrmms.

Xigbar: Oh.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Four: The Attic That Never Was (And Xigbar's Ass Tattoo)

Luxord held up a candle with one hand, and grabbing Roxas' arm in the other, leading him up the stairs. Roxas gulped and clung to Luxord. Luxord grimaced as they reached the top. The area was covered in cobwebs and smelled of must. Roxas shuddered from all of the spiders.

"See Roxas? There's no beasties in the attic! Now let's go back to bed," Luxord yawned. Roxas shook his head.

"We haven't even looked yet! They could just be hiding!" Roxas tugged on Luxord's cloak. Lux groaned and walked with Roxas deeper into the attic which was basically just one big series of rooms that was the expanse of the whole Castle That Never Was.

Luxord was becoming less patient. He had a full day of work ahead of him in the morning and staying up late to satisfy Roxas' childish quirks. Luxord walked with him for a good twenty minutes when he had a strangely sadistic and evil idea.

_What if I just left him here? Then he'd have to find a way back! And I'd be able to sleep. MUHAHAHAHA! That would be so evil! HUHA! . . . Then again, that's a horrible idea. After a few months of not seeing Roxas, we'd come up here looking for him and find a dead body. Hmm. . . ._

Luxord (unfortunately) abandoned the idea and kept walking.

"You see now? There are no monsters," Luxord rubbed his eyes. Roxas was still dying of fright. And it definitely didn't help when Axel silently appeared behind him and tapped his shoulders and yelled "BOO!"

Roxas screamed. Luxord spun around and caught Axel by the hair before he could use the portal to escape.

"Ow Luxord! Lemme go! LET GO OF MY HAIR!" He screamed. Luxord yanked him back. Roxas burst into tears.

-.-.-.-.-

Xigbar put the receiver down and used a portal to get to Xemnas, whom was busily practicing his "evil face" in the mirror.

"Superior, DiZ called. Apparently, it's important," Xigbar spoke stoically. Xemnas turned around and started at Xigbar. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Why is _that _important? The hell do I care if a ditz calls?" Xemnas asked. Xigbar stood there, starring at Xemnas. He did this for a few minutes, considering Xemnas starred back practicing his angry face.

-.-.-.-.-

Axel was trapped in a dice. He swayed back and forth, eventually falling on his face. He pouted and realized that Luxord and Roxas had walked off. Axel opened a portal and hopped over to it, going to Larxene. After about thirty minutes, he finally reached it and Larxene looked back from her room to see him.

"Ha ha!" She shrieked. "Lux turned you into a die!"

"Shut up and change me back!"

"Why can't you change yourself back?" She asked. Axel pouted.

"Because Luxord knows how to permanently keep me this way until someone ELSE changes me. He thought it'd be funnier because people would be less likely to let me go," Axel explained. Larxene giggled.

"He has a point," She said and teleported to Roxas and Luxord. Axel sat there on his side, looking around wildly.

_Now would be a perfect time to search Larxene's room for her panties. Too bad I don't have arms._ Axel thought. He tried to move forward but he fell on his face again.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Luxord stood up straight. He could've sworn he heard a portal open up behind him. He turned his head around and found most of the Organization standing behind him.

"The hell?"

Vexen, Lexaeus, Saix, Demyx, Marluxia, and Larxene were all standing behind him with big smiles on their faces. With the exception of Saix, who was being emo by putting his sour face on and crossing his arms. Luxord quirked an eyebrow at them all.

"What are you guys doing here?" He asked nonchalantly. Demyx smiled innocently.

"We heard you were rummaging around up here and decided to come too! Like a party!" He laughed. Luxord's lip wiggled. Larxene shot a look at Demyx.

"I distinctly remember you saying something about not wanting to come up here by yourself to look through our belonging because it was "scary"," Larxene made quote marks with her fingers. "And I also recall you saying something about looking for Xehanort's baby pictures. But whatevs."

"Do we even _have _baby pictures? We weren't babies, were we?" Saix spat. Larxene shrugged.

"If there's something useful I've learned during the course of my frail, pointless existence outside of Chain of Memories, it's that when Demyx has a stupid ass idea, let him ride it out and learn for himself. Seriously, trying to convince Demyx that he's a dumb ass is like trying to explain Best Buy to Ethiopians," Larxene finished. Saix looked over at her.

"You are your damn racial slurs," He muttered. She inched away from him.

"Jew."

Saix was about to pimp slap Larxene when Luxord decided this would be a good time to intervene.

"HEY! No one is slapping anyone! Larxene, that was mean. Stop saying mean things," Luxord turned from pointing at Larxene to pointing at Saix. "And you. . . No pimp slapping." His mood suddenly changed. "Are you really Jewish?"

"Yeah! Didn't I announce this during our third meeting ever!" Saix spat. Luxord thought about it.

"I think I stopped listening after the first few minute of the FIRST meeting," Luxord sighed. Demyx raised his hand gingerly.

"I think I did too," Demyx mumbled. Luxord waved his arms in the air.

"Never mind! Let's go back to searching this damn place."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Xigbar stood a few feet away from Xemnas, who was totally submersed with a fan fiction he was reading. Xigbar tried looking over his head, but couldn't see what was going on. Xemnas starred at the computer screen with his mouth wide open. Occasionally, he laughed or say some pretty strange things that Xigbar never thought would come out of Xemnas' mouth. Things like "Oh Saix" or "Oh baby yeah" or "I feel like canned fruit". Xigbar, even though he'd coughed several minutes ago, figured that Xemnas was totally oblivious to the fact that he was standing behind him. He coughed again. Xemnas did nothing. He was hardcore reading.

Xigbar figured that since DiZ was still on the phone, he'd better break Xemnas from his trance. He tapped Xemnas on the shoulder impatiently. Xemnas did nothing. Xigbar slapped him on the back of the head. Nothing. He braided Xemnas' hair. Nothing. He tried looking Xemnas' in the face, but he just moved to see the computer. Xigbar finally got so pissed off that he yanked the cord from the wall. The screen went black. Xigbar looked at Xemnas' face, which was in total shock. He turned his head slowly to see Xigbar.

"Why would you do that?" He asked quietly. Xigbar pushed the phone in front of Xemnas.

"DiZ. Wants to talk to you about the applicant for fourteen," Xigbar was relieved. Xemnas did not grab the phone though. Instead, his eyes glazed over and he went into a blind rage.

-.-.-.-.-.-

DiZ sat at his computer in the Twilight Town Mansion. With the phone to his ear, he winced as he heard someone being beaten alive with a cow femur. DiZ considered hanging up and running away, but then Xigbar started screaming like a little girl, and snapping sounds were heard. Strange thoughts of what was going on filled DiZ's head and it entertained him. Instead of hanging up, he listened to the call for however long it took for Xemnas to calm down, put the femur away, and get on the phone.

"Hello?" Xemnas asked, panting, but holding Xigbar down with one foot. He brushed his bangs back. DiZ sat up straight.

"Xehanort? This is DiZ," Ansem said. Xemnas grimaced.

"That's not my name! I'm Xemnas!" He protested. DiZ shrugged.

"Whatever. I have something important to tell you!"

"Wait a second! Is this Ansem or DiZ?" Xemnas asked, looking up at the text, seeing that it said "Ansem said".

"This is DiZ."

"But I thought you were Ansem!" Xemnas shouted. DiZ rubbed his forehead.

"I am! But ever since your Heartless stole my name, I had to come up with something Star Trek like and catchy!" DiZ complained. Xemnas was completely confused.

"Oh, you mean Ansem? Yeah, what a media whore. Honestly. And his hair! What an abomination-"

"Shut up, Xemnas. I have a candidate I'd like to be fourteen," DiZ stated. Xemnas frowned.

"Who says you have a say in this!" Xemnas asked. DiZ sighed.

"You did when you couldn't think of a good person for number III."

"Well no longer! Xerxes was perfect! He just had some . . . Flaws," Xemnas got quieter. DiZ hung up. Xemnas kept talking about his day. Xigbar was writhing in pain. The world is quiet here.

-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: As you will notice, I'm never EVER going to bring up Mansex. Just so you know. I don't feel like being a poser.


	5. The Attic That Never Was 2

**Apparently (It's Not That Organized)**

An Organization XIII fan fiction

By Spectra16 (Does not spread untrue propaganda.)

(Bush sucks.)

A/N: Ansem Retort rules! Go look it up on google. Larxene is a psycho, sugar high spaz. Zexion is a doctor, not a milkman! Ansem (evil version) is a TV producer. Everyone's souls are sold to Fox! Axel kills children on Wednesdays! And MOOGLE VISION! And Riku gets cut in half several times.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. And I especially do not own Xigbar. He scares me on a daily basis. As opposed to Roxas wetting himself every day. And I do not own the pandas who sway their arms and sing "Heaven" by Los Lonely Boys. Just kidding. Yeah I do.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Five: The Attic That Never Was Again

"LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE FOUND!" Demyx screamed, emphasizing the word 'I'. Everyone kept doing what they were doing because Demyx had been doing this for the past hour.

"Luxord, do you know anyone who likes Hal Sparks?" Marluxia asked uncomfortably. Luxord turned back at Marluxia.

"What?"

Marluxia peeled a poster from under the clutter and it apparently was a pin up of Hal Sparks. Mar looked appalled, and Luxord averted his eyes.

"Oh god! What is that?!" Luxord covered Roxas' eyes, but it was too late. The pour boy had officially been scarred for life. And it wasn't like Roxas had ever seen naughty parts before. Axel certainly had a habit of scarring everyone he could. Usually, it was once a month. Sort of like a period. But Axel PMS was far more dangerous. One time, he attempted to set Xemnas' mop (hair) on fire. Another month, he'd gone streaking until Xigbar and Xemnas apprehended. Another month, Axel bought presents for everyone and dressed up as Alice from Alice in Wonderland. Anyways. . .

"Put away Marluxia! Quickly!" Luxord hissed. Marluxia shoved it under a box, but in the back of his mind, he was ready to come back up and retrieve it. Vexen shrieked.

"What?" Luxord hissed. Vexen backed away.

"The . . . The . . . BAND!" Vexen opened a portal and shot out of the attic. Demyx ran over to what he ran from. There was a rectangle paper on the floor. Demyx quirked an eyebrow and read the words on it. He eyes opened wide with shock.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A day prior. . .

Vexen loved horoscopes. And tarot cards. And creepy Gypsy fortune tellers. And all of these things told him what to expect and how to live his life. And he had no beef with that.

Vexen shoved his hand in the bag of Chinese food and grabbed his fortune cookie. He popped open the bag and cracked the cardboard flavored cookie. He happily pulled out the white slip of paper and read it. The news was not good.

"When you see the Metallica concert ticket, you will die in seven days."

Vexen shrugged. He figured he wouldn't be seeing any Metallica tickets anytime soon.

But he couldn't have been more wrong.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Xigbar was busily filling out Heartless paper work when Xemnas poked him in the back of the head. He sighed irritated.

"Can I help you, Superior?" Xigbar steamed. Xemnas smiled sweetly.

"Where are the others?" he asked innocently. Xigbar shrugged.

"How the hell should I know? I don't engage in personal activities with them!" Xigbar said angrily. Xemnas smiled slyly.

"Then what was that mush with Lar-"

"Don't start, sir," Xigbar would only warn him once, and Xemnas knew it.

"Well, go find them. I'm bored," Xemnas ordered gently. Xigbar sighed.

"I'm doing your paperwork. I'd much rather do this, because it's productive. Searching a monolith castle for a bunch of ruffians who won't listen to me is hardly productive," Xigbar went back to writing. Xemnas growled.

"FINE! I'll bloody do it myself!" Xemnas ran off. Xigbar felt relieved of his absence, until Xemnas snuck up behind him and yanked on his pony tail.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Xemnas crept around the Castle That Never Was in search of the Nobodies That Apparently Never Were, or at least Couldn't Ever Be Found When Xemnas Wanted Them To Do His Bidding. Xemnas finally realized this and started storming around. And he stormed right into a portal into the Castle Bar That Never Was. Zexion looked up from the counter, which he was sleeping on. He suddenly became excited.

"Can I help you, sir?" He asked quickly. Xemnas rose an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Gimme a Cognac, Sexion," Xemnas muttered and sat down. Zexion ignored his slip of the tongue and ran to get him his drink. It almost seemed like Zexion had been waiting there for days, waiting for business.

"Hey, Sexion, do you know where everyone is?" Xemnas asked, faced to Zexion's back. He didn't turn.

"They went up to the Haunted Attic That Never Was. Why? Didn't they tell you?"

"No," Zexion handed Xemnas his drink. "They hate me. They never tell me anything!" He pouted. Zexion backed away.

"You mean, Axel didn't tell you that I wanted to be released from my duties?!" Zexion asked in a panic.

"Huh?" Xemnas said dumbly. Tears came to Zexion's eyes.

"Axel told me he'd tell you all of them were going upstairs to look for stuff and that he'd ask you if I could be released from this bar!" Zexion cried. Xemnas took a sip.

"Nope. Never did that. And which one is Axel? Is he the puff with pink hair?" Xemnas looked at the palm of his hand, which had some faces and a few had name next to them. Zexion grimaced.

"No. That's Marluxia. Axel is the one with red hair," Zexion looked worried now. Xemnas nodded and wrote it down with pen.

"Thanks, Sexion," Xemnas smiled, downed his drink and walked away.

"WAIT! Can I go now?!" Zexion begged. Xemnas looked back/

"What CAN'T you go?"

"Because you damned me to this job and never said when I could leave!" Zexion cried. Xemnas waved his hand.

"Sure. Whatever."

Zexion walked out from behind the counter and punched Xemnas in the stomach.

"And it's ZEXion now SEXion!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Zexion entered to Attic to an almost complete cast of the XIII (with the exception of Xigbar, Xemnas, and Vexen) and to the spastic nature of Demyx. Zexion knew better than to question why Demyx was having seizures of joy. Usually it was because he just ran his car into a lake on purpose or because he scored high on an 'Are You Sexxy?' test or 'Which Organization Member Are you Most Likely To Have Sex With?' on Quizilla.

Luxord turned to Zexion.

"Where have you been?" He asked. Zexion ignored the question and was starring right through Lux. Luxord turned around and saw Axel, who had a frightened look on his face. Zexion very literally looked like a blood crazed maniac from a teen horror film in the 90s. Fire, even though that was Axel's area of expertise, surrounded Zexion and his glazed look continued through his evil laughter and twitching of eyes and fingers. Axel shivered in fear, unable to move.

Luxord cleared his throat.

"Take this outside, gentlemen," He murmured. Zexion clenched his teeth together in a sadistic smile.

"Gladly." He spoke and grabbed Axel arm and threw him into a portal, following him. Luxord sighed and Roxas clenched his fists.

"I hope Zexion wins," Roxas spoke like a cockey little anime walk-on boy, or Ash Ketchum. Marluxia put some chap stick on. Demyx went back to dancing around his Metallica concert ticket. Everyone turned their attention back to the ticket.

"How did it even get up here? It's for the concert in a few days. How is this even possible?" Larxene asked aloud. Everyone shrugged.

"WHO CARES?! It's mine, bitches!" Demyx hoarded it to himself. Lexaeus crossed his arms.

"Aren't you more of a hippie/sitar kind of person?" He asked apathetically. Demyx frowned.

"A fan of Metallica can have an interest in any music! You've obviously never been to a concert before! There's a wide arrange of people who attend! Old biker men with every patch on their leather vest that Metallica ever sold, young 12 year old girls, S and M goths, and prepubescent rock fans," Demyx said indignantly. Lexaeus chuckled.

"I guess you belong to the latter then, don't you?" He said snidely. Everyone laughed, except Roxas and Demyx, who didn't understand the joke.

"In any case, I'm going!" Demyx stuck his tongue out at Lexaeus.

"You know what?" A quiet voice from behind the group said, who was Roxas. "I think I know who left that ticket here." Luxord tilted his head to the side.

"Who?"

"A GHOST!" Roxas shouted. Everyone except Luxord shivered or started screaming and running around in circles.

"OH SWEET JESUS! WHO WILL SAVE US!? THE GHOST IS COMING TO KILL US!" Demyx got on his knees. He was certainly the last to regain composure.

"Come on, now! The ghost just left a ticket to a Metallica concert! It didn't try to stab us with a dull butter knife!" Larxene put her hands on her hips. Demyx stopped screaming and went onto whining.

"Ghosts aren't real! You guys are pussies," Luxord started walking away. There was a tug on his sleeve.

"Don't leave me here, daddy/mommy Luxord!" Roxas shouted. Luxord looked behind him, and a few feet away is where Roxas stood. Luxord quirked an eyebrow.

"Eh . . . Didn't you just tug on my sleeve? How did you get back there so fast?" Luxord asked. It took a few moments for everyone to realize what was going on.

Larxene and Marluxia screamed and ran way. Lexaeus hid in a box. Roxas cried. Xaldin and Saix pulled out weapons, ready to fight. After a minute of this action, Demyx understood what happened and also screamed.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Meanwhile. . .

Zexion was laughing like a manic as Axel was tied to the back of his pick up truck. Zexion was only going like . . . 80 miles per hour but Axel was screaming, but Zexion's music was up too loud for him to hear over it.

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Hope you liked this chapter. And yes! There is a ghost! And he's part of Organization XIII! And this is not a one shot! And it WILL go on for a very long time. I'm on chapter five and I haven't even introduced the second noob for XIII. Oh well. Thanks for reading! Cheers!


End file.
